"Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules." Colossians 2:20 (NIV 1984)

As a follower of Jesus I am happy to accept that He has called me to be different. I am to to be in this world but NOT of it. Its a real joy and a privilege to be a part of these 'called out ' ones, a member of the 'royal priesthood and holy nation'.

However when I was younger and my kids were still at home I found it so hard at times to impose my Christian standards and Kingdom principles upon them in ways of dress and behaviour especially when they just didn't understand. 

"Why does our family have to be so different too?" I often asked myself.

While in secondary school, my daughter asked if she could spend the weekend away with a friend. My wife and I didn't know the friend nor her parents all that well and so we were concerned. An even bigger factor was that we had never met the family they were visiting. Our answer to a then broken-hearted girl was "no." She couldn't understand and simply thought that we were being mean.

Even while making that decision, parts of me didn't get it either. I questioned myself, "Why can't you just be like other parents? Why do you have to be cautious and think ahead? Why do you make decisions that bring your children pain?"

It wasn't the first time I had these thoughts. Saying "no" to travelling alone to visit school friends. Saying "no" to text messaging pictures on cell phones.

Often, the same dilemma ran through my brain. Not only did I struggle with wanting my kids to fit in; I struggle with my own desire to fit in too.

Jesus asks us through our key verse, "Why do you struggle as though you still belonged to this world?" Struggle with issues such as:

• Letting our children choose clothes that are in style, but also too revealing. We want them to fit in, right?

• Giving our kids what others give their kids: iPhones, laptops, designer clothes. We wouldn't want to deprive them, right?

• Allowing our kids freedoms beyond their age and maturity, but other kids get to do. We wouldn't want them to stand out, right?

In these struggles, Jesus gives this encouragement, "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession" (1 Peter 2:9a NIV). " You are not your own but bought with a price".....destined to be My Bride

Chosen, holy, a special possession. Yes and that includes all of our family. In some ways, it just sounds strange that we are so special....different from the world in which we live. It sounds to me, though, that 'different' or weird is Jesus' desire for us and He wants us to model that to our kids so they have courage to be weird as well.

This isn't going to be easy for our children all the time and they will not always understand but if they know that we love them then they will learn to trust us with every decision.

Maybe your daughter recently screamed at you when told her skirt was too short. Or your son slammed the door after being asked to turn off the show on TV that every kid at school watches.

Why would we want to be weird when it disrupts our family? Why would we want to stand out as different?

We make the hard decisions because Jesus says we are a chosen people; we're His. And we want our children to be as well.

I don't like the fact that choosing to be weird causes my kids not to like me. But it brings me comfort to know Jesus likes my decisions. He is proud I choose a way that models to my kids that we are His special possession. When Jesus is happy with my decision to be weird, I can be happy too and trust Him to work it out

"Bring up a child in the way it should go and when he is old he will not depart from it". This is a promise of God to us today.

Dear Lord, help me when I feel the pull to do and say and be everything that society tells me to do and say and be. Holy Spirit, open my ears to hear Your wisdom, not just when it comes to family life, but in all areas of my life. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

God bless you 

Howard Barnes